A Day Full of 28’s and Other Odd Ramblings

Today, August 28, I am 28 weeks prego, Alexa is 28 months old and I keep thinking I am still 28 years old.  Ha!  Well, that is on my good energy days and today thankfully was a good energy day.  But, sadly, every few days I am so exhausted I feel like it is too much to even stand up straight, like I’m 82 years old or something.  On my bad energy days, the daily chores of doing dishes, doing laundry, sweeping the floors, wiping the counters, cooking and grocery shopping all suffer.  And my time with Alexa turns into one morning outing, arts-and-craft afternoons and evening movies.  That’s all I can handle.  It truly feels like a struggle to change over a load of laundry or empty the dishwasher or take Alexa swimming on those dreaded days.  And my work suffers too.  The second Alexa finally falls asleep at night I have to go to bed too on those low energy days.  I can’t bare to stay up another minute to push out any Graphic Design.  I am constantly doing the Alexa, work, chores, rest juggle.  I did not struggle with these low energy issues when I was pregnant with Alexa.  Only in the first trimester was my energy low, but this time… I have low energy 5 out of 7 days in a week.  9 to 11 more weeks of this “chronic fatigue”.  Yes, yes, I know, after baby is born I will be sleeping even less and juggling more.  I get to step into an entirely different exhausted mode taking care of a new born and a toddler.  But, at least MY BODY won’t be this exhausted anymore.  I’m looking forward to the challenge.

I’ve been tracking my weight a bit more closely this time and despite the fact that I feel like a manatee, since 8 weeks of pregnancy, I have only gained 14 to 15 lbs.  What the doc’s don’t know is that in the first 8 weeks of pregnancy I actually gained 6 lbs making a total of about 20 lbs so far, but we are not going to count that until after baby is born and I am trying to get to my pre-pre pregnancy weight again.  I look in the mirror and see BIG.  George can’t look at me naked without laughing and looks everywhere else but in my direction when I’m laid out on the beach like a beached whale or attempting to bounce my fat ass and watermelon belly around the waves with Alexa.  But, when strangers find out I am 7 months pregnant, they are shocked saying things like, “Wow! You are small!  You don’t look 7 months pregnant at all!”  Am I smaller than I was at the same stage with Alexa?

I’m not sure, but I definitely remember having to take my rings off at 27 weeks of pregnancy last time as my fingers slowly mutated into sausage fingers.  This time, I have no problems with swelling so far and I am doing everything I can to keep it that way.  I’ve completely cut out salt out of my diet and I am pretty sure I am drinking more water than I did last time, lots more.

Another drastic change in my diet from last pregnancy to this one is my protein intake.  I am definitely consuming way less protein than I did before, however, still being careful to get an appropriate amount daily.  Any animal product is tough on my digestive system this time making me think this little one will surely be a vegetarian like her mommy.  I am eating free-range, organic eggs pretty regularly as well as yogurt, cheese, the very occasional fish and other vegetable source protein (and unlike last time, I’m excluding soy for the most part).  Concerned about my protein intake I recently started drinking organic whey/soy protein shakes once a day.  I tried this the first trimester of this pregnancy and it made me vomit.  With Alexa, I drank these whey/soy shakes daily with no problems.  I actually looked forward to them mixing in bananas, berries and other yummy additions filling two large cups of the stuff for my breakfast each morning.  This time, this baby, hates it.  My stomach has been seriously messed up since I started back on these shakes and I’m only drinking a fraction of what I drank last time in the day.  Here’s the gross part, since I started on these shakes I haven’t had a real poo in a week and instead a couple times a day I am getting diarrhea style cramps in my intestines only to sit on the pot for extended periods of time over and over while only small semi-solid drops of poo appear… sometimes.  My poor little butthole is sore and I wonder if I might be getting the dreaded pregnancy hemorrhoids.  I’ve never had them before... is this what it is like?  These intestinal cramps are awful.  I would rather have any other pain than intestinal pain.  Labor better not feel this way.

It must be the shakes since I haven’t changed anything else in my lifestyle or diet.  This baby does NOT like animal products, period.  My Mom thinks it is in my head.

I’ve continued trying to drink this stuff for a week hoping my body would either get used to it or hoping maybe it isn’t the whey or the soy causing my pain, but alas my intestines hurt and my butthole hurts … so no more whey protein shakes for me!

One last little note… a bird pooped on my head this morning at the park and three days ago a jelly fish stung me all over my baby bump and back.  I really think the animal kingdom is trying to tell me something.

28 Weeks, Au revoir French Doc, Merci

The last and final French Doc appointment is complete and not without a few minor miscommunications, but that was to be expected.  She confirmed everything looks great with the pregnancy.  No toxoplasmosis as of a month ago, no abnormalities to be seen in the echographic, no gestational diabetes, iron levels look normal again, I’m gaining the proper amount of weight (maybe even too many lbs over the last month) all is well.  Our miscommunication occurred when I was not able to get my last and final toxoplasmosis blood test.  Something they normally do every month in France since it is more common here,  but only one test for toxoplasmosis per pregnancy in the US.  At the lab, since I entered without a prescription for the test, I decided to avoid getting into an argument in French with the lab tech, one I would most assuredly loose and quickly walked out at the first sign of “You need a prescription”.  Tempted to skip being stuck by a gloveless woman who smells like old alcohol one more time, I decided not to return to the doc to ask for the missing prescription and instead chose to walk to few miles back to the villa.  However, thoughts swarmed my head during my walk home about all my potential toxoplasmosis exposures over the last month.  Like the mussel appetizer that gave me a small dose of food poisoning for 24 hours AND the super friendly stray cat in Biot that ran up out of no where and began rubbing her sweet little cat body against mine and Alexa’s legs tempting us to pet her AND the accidental visit to the old fashioned organic free-range farm with chickens, roosters, geese, ducks, cows, pigs, horses and donkeys also tempting us to pet them while we trampled through their poo.  However, despite all these close calls with possible toxoplasmosis exposure, I feel fine and Alexa has loved on all these beautiful animals without coming down with the slightest bit of a toxoplasmosis symptom.  Therefore, I think it is probably okay that I skipped out on the last sketchy pricking.  I am debating on asking for a toxoplasmosis test back in the states for my 32 weeks check up though… just to be safe.

27 Weeks, 6 Days – Third Trimester Terrors

I’ve been fighting off waves of terror about having another child.  What are we thinking?  Or more accurately, what am I thinking?  It is already so difficult to keep up with George traveling this much with one, how am I going to do this with two?  Constantly moving to new places, to foreign countries, and attempting to live in them, blending in like normal (sore thumbs), is more than a challenge, it is out right difficult and lonely.  And when G is gone, I am left to handle the whole lot alone.  And as if the constant traveling wasn’t difficult enough, I also work an outside Graphics job.

The baby is basically due to arrive any day between October 25^th and November 22^nd.  Between 37 weeks of pregnancy and 41 weeks of pregnancy.  After a taxing French summer, Alexa and I fly back to Florida on September 10^th and will be home alone until George leaves France to join us in early October.  Then, when I am 36 weeks pregnant, October 12^th through 16^th, he flies back over to Europe, to Spain, for the Pinmar Golf Tournament.  When I am 39 weeks pregnant (if I am even still pregnant by then), George is supposed to fly up to North Carolina for three days for a Rybovich executive golf meeting.  Yeah, cutting it pretty close, I know.  I’m kind of freaking out about that one.  Thankfully he did tell me he will not attend the METS trade show November 14^th through 18^th in Amsterdam this year.  Damn straight he better skip AT LEAST that one!

After November, George’s next work trip is to the Caribbean, to Antigua, for the Antigua Charter Yacht Show December 3^rd through 11^th when the baby is only a few weeks old.  We expect him to be home with us for the holidays and then in January he is off again to the Caribbean, St. Thomas, St. Maarten and the B.V.I.’s.  February and March will be similar with George gone for work trips in the same Caribbean islands mentioned earlier and also in St. Barths for a week to two week increments.  June will most likely be an entire month of separation or longer unless I fly back over to France with our baby and our toddler for another attempt at living in a foreign country with kids.  Of course, this is all subject to change and if it does change, the change will most likely cause more travel and/or more separation.  Do I sound bitter?  Do I sound like I am bitching or trying to play the pitty card?  I really don’t mean to.  I do feel blessed, very blessed and grateful for having the opportunity to have a family with a wonderful man and a life full of adventure.  I knew what I was getting into when I fell in love with his traveling spirit.  In fact, that is a big part of why I fell in love with him.  I am a traveling spirit too and love change and adventure.  But, it is getting increasingly difficult to do this mostly alone with a toddler, soon two children.  I won’t dare admit my fears to George now since all of these concerns were discussed numerous times before we decided to have one more.  But as the time grows near, I find myself trying to imagine my schedule with two, trying to find balance in providing enough love and devotion to an infant and a toddler mixed with traveling extensively, finding time for house work, exercise, meals, my job(s) and… should I dare say it… will there be ANY chance of personal time?  Time to learn software necessary to advance and keep up in my career, time to go to the occasional yoga class or go for a run or do what I really want which is train and race some triathlons?  Will I have time to get the occasional pedi or study foreign languages or take an art class?  Gulp!  I am afraid the answer might be NO for a while.  I know that sounds so selfish… concerned about my own time, my own sanity, but it IS very important.  However, worse than making time for myself is the fear of how am I going to spread my love, devotion and time equally among both kids making both feel loved, cherished and adored?  And George… I need to make sure he knows I love and adore him too.  When we are home for a few months at a time, I manage to usually find a little babysitter help, but when we travel, I am completely alone trying to balance all this stuff.  These are my third trimester terrors.  These are the things I dare not admit to George for fear of the dreaded, “I told you so” or “You are the one who said you could handle it.”  The truth is, I CAN handle it.

27 Weeks

26 Weeks, 3 Days

I write this blog in between massive guzzles of water as I am deathly afraid I feel the swelling coming on again already.  I seem to be okay when I wake up in the morning thin-ish, rings fit, etc., but by the evening rings are off, the tops of my thighs begin to touch, and my feet feel like balloons.  Every time I pass by a mirror or see a photo of myself, I cringle desperately afraid of seeing the puffy cheeks / swollen eyes / double chin monster from the last two months of my last pregnancy.  So far, that monster hasn’t stared back at me and I’m doing my damndest to avoid her return even if it means I visit the potty literally every 20 mins 24/7.

My belly is slowly getting bigger.  There was a large jump in my belly size during the 5^th month, but it seems to have slowed a bit.  I think most people can probably tell I’m pregnant now, but then again, I kind of blend in with the classic older Italian and French generation on the beach with their skinny arms and legs sticking out of a wine-filled pot belly kind of resembling an alien of some sort.  Most people still don’t dare make a comment just in case.

My energy levels are hit and miss.  Some days I feel great, considering, and others I feel like I ran a marathon when all I did was make breakfast.

My skin is clear, dry as can be, but clear none the less.  I have now resorted to regularly lathering up my entire body with my anti-stretch mark “belly butter” just to keep my skin from shedding like an albino python.

I’m having calcium issues again with brittle nails and possible cavities sending shooting pains through my molars.  I don’t drink milk, but I do eat hard cheese and plain bio yogurt.  Tofu and soy also have loads of calcium, but I don’t eat much of that.  Kale and fortified OJ have calcium too, but… they are hard to come by in So France.  So… I’m on a mild calcium supplement again.  I hope it helps.

It seems I tend to battle with getting accurate amounts of protein, calcium and iron.  How can anyone fit all the nutrients needed into a short 24 hours?

I try to squeeze in some light weights, yoga and/or walking each day, but sometimes that is difficult when I have little help with Alexa and she is on the fringe of giving up her daily nap.  I am anxiously counting the days until I return to Florida where I can go to a gym and sweat… AND drink my fresh squeezed organic green juices.

I pissed 3 times just in the time it took me to write this blog!

Over 6 Months Dead Cold Sober… again.

Only a couple sniffs of wine and an occasional less than a lick on my tongue of G’s wine in over 6 months.  Well, maybe I had two little licks of a French rose on my 35^th birthday, but really less alcohol on my tongue than from my mouth-wash.  Honestly, this forced sobriety was more of a huge deal last time I was pregnant since I used to enjoy my wine more before kids, but still… another 6+ months and going strong is something to be proud of regardless.  I find it somewhat difficult being in European wine country watching my hubby regularly enjoy varied varieties of succulent vin.  But then again, it is so nice to be clear, conscious, awake, and hangover-free all the time.  After a while, you really don’t miss it anymore.  Well… maybe I do still miss a glass of wine on occasion… and cappuccinos… and sushi… and ceviche… Ok, back on the subject… did I mention I am thinking clearly?  Ha!  Hardly with my prego-brain, but still more clear than the guy next to me with a hangover.  Anyway, I’ve become so used to no alcohol this time that when I finally found a French antioxidant juice that resembles wine, my initial ecstatic reaction was soon replaced by an almost guilty feeling.  One sip and I had to double check the bottle to make sure there truly is no alcohol in it.  Yes, it is true… alcohol free, purely a juice blend not even disguised as a non-alcoholic wine.  Just a simple organic antioxidant fruit juice blend I happened to pick up at the local Bio Organic market in Juan les Pins made with the juice of organic aqui berries, blue berries and pomegranate.  This stuff blows away that crap they sell in the US labeled “alcohol-free” wine or “Aerial alcohol removed wine”.  Plus, this is organic, full of antioxidants and so good for me and baby.  At only 6 Euro a bottle, this is a steal over here!  You can barely buy bottled water for this price.  Still, I have this weird guilt complex about even finishing one glass… much the same as when I attempt to drink the extremely occasional non-alcoholic beer.  Regardless, it is good and something I might want to continue to drink after baby is born.  I’ll bring some home with me for anyone who wants to try some.  Let me know.